


Here Kitty, Kitty

by Argentee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Avengers Tower, Based on a Tumblr Post, Cat, Domestic Avengers, F/F, Femslash, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Magic!Darcy, Not Beta Read, Romance, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 10:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18715630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Argentee/pseuds/Argentee
Summary: Based on a Tumblr Prompt:  The most wanted woman in town has announced that she’ll only marry the one who can open her front door with the key around her cat’s neck. Many men try to hunt the cat down, chase and trap it, but to no avail, the cat is simply too quick, smart and clever, and always finds a way to evade and avoid them.Darcy Lewis is tired of the guys acting like she is something to be fought over, so she sets a challenge for them.





	Here Kitty, Kitty

Darcy pulled a pan of brownies out of the top oven, and slid a tray of cookies in, then pulled a tray of blondies out of the bottom oven, and slid a tray in there and set the timer. Thor leaned over, peering at the trays, causing Darcy to shake a spatula at him menacingly. "No, those are for everyone! If I let you at them, they won't even make it on to the platter, much less to movie night." Thor looked abashed, but Darcy was not buying it. She wasn't even renting it. Leave him alone with the baked goods and there would be nothing but crumbs left for the rest of them. There was the sound of something falling and yelling coming from the media room, and Loki strolled out, looking smug. Darcy glared at the god of Mischief, "What is THAT all about?" Not he was necessarily responsible, smug seemed to be his default expression.

Loki smirked, "I don't know that I should say..." He skipped up to the kitchen bar, leaning across it. "It seems the world's greatest heroes are fighting amongst themselves." Darcy leveled her best glare at him, and Loki's grin only got bigger. "Over which of them gets to sit next to you during your 'movie night'. Samuel had staked out a spot on the love seat you usually sprawl on, so James picked it up and dumped Samuel off." 

Darcy growled a little, and stalked over to the movie room. Furniture had been shoved out of place, throw pillows and cushions were tossed around, and Bucky, Sam, and Pietro were standing in the middle of the room glaring at each other. "I'm not sitting with ANY of you idiots tonight. I'm going to sit next to Jane and Thor. If any of you want to date me," She paused for half a second, thoughts racing. "My cat, Psyche. Get the key shaped charm off her collar, and I'll go on a date with you. Until then, knock it off, you're interrupting my baking."

Darcy turned her back on them, stomping back into the kitchen. Thor chuckled, "An excellent idea, lightning sister. Let them prove they are worthy of you!"

Loki and half the tray of brownies were gone.

🐾 🐾 🐾

The first to attempt to claim the key was Pietro, who showed up to breakfast the next morning with hand bitten to the bone. "That cat is a hell-beast!"

Wanda and Thor exchanged looks, and Wanda stood, grabbing her brother by the ear "You tried to grab her roughly, you got what you deserved. You're going down to medical."

Natasha's raised brow was enough to get Thor to explain the details of the challenge Darcy had issued, which lead to Thor expounding on the virtues of the Norsk skogkatt, gentle, stout-hearted, loyal, brave...

Loki smirked, "And big enough not to put up with being manhandled. Very large, for midgardian house cats. Though the Asgardian breed is far larger than your midgardian cats."

Tony looked a little wary, "How big?"

Loki held a hand to his chest, in a melodramatic show of acting offended, "I would never ask a lady her weight... Certainly not one who was armed."

Darcy walked in, "Who isn't armed around here?"

Loki paused, "Fair point. Jarl Stark was wondering how big fair Psyche was."

Darcy grinned, "Want to see some pictures of her, Tony?" She pulled out her phone to show around photos of a chocolatey brown and white cat with long, fluffy fur and huge blue eyes. The cat was large enough to take up an entire pillow on Darcy's bed and seemed to enjoy posing for the pictures. "She's about eighteen pounds or so, and a bit standoffish with strangers."

Natasha smirked a little, "As Pietro learned," and stood to leave.

In the days that followed, several other of the male Avengers earned sets of scratches trying to grab Psyche. More than once Natasha saw the brown and white blur fleeing a room where male cursing and shouting could be heard, which made Natasha chuckle. At times she would turn around, and Psyche would be watching from behind a vent cover, or perched on the edge of a piece of furniture, but Natasha never chased her. Late at night, when sleep eluded her, Natasha would sometimes sit in the common room watching movies or TV. Sometimes the cat would be there. Natasha let her be.

The second week, the men started setting traps. Strings set on doors to pull them closed. Cage-traps for taking animals live baited with anchovies or tuna. Box traps set up on sticks like something from a wiley coyote cartoon. Traps were set off, bait was stolen, but Psyche was never caught in the traps. Once Natasha found the cat napping on the towel on top of one of the box traps, one eye opened just a slit to watch who came and went into the room. Natasha laughed despite herself, and the cat got up, stretching slowly, and curled up again, resuming her fake sleep. "You are enjoying this way too much, котенок," Natasha commented with a grin, and left the cat to tease whichever Avenger had thought to trap her.

That night, she sat down to watch movies alone in the common room with a plate made up for herself of blini, hard boiled eggs, and caviar. Psyche emerged from behind one the couches, nose twitching as she looked towards Natasha's plate. A small pink tongue licked her lips, then the cat vanished behind another piece of furniture. Natasha set two pieces of hard boiled egg topped with caviar on a napkin, and placed it on the floor near her feet. 

By the time the movie was done, the napkin was empty.

The third week most of the Avengers were gone on missions, including Natasha and Clint. Unfortunately, the mission they were assigned was either based on bad intel or burned, and they ended up having to fight their way out. Once safely back at the tower, Natasha blackmailed Clint into going to the infirmary by refusing to go unless he did. She had a few wounds that needed to be cleaned out and glued together, stitches were usually a bad idea for people with knock off versions of the serum. Clint, on the other hand, had cracked ribs and needed the duty restriction on his file to prevent him from going out into the field before it was healed.

When they emerged from the infirmary, they found Darcy pacing the hall outside, a mounded plate covered with aluminium foil in her hands. Darcy's wide blue eyes met Natasha's and Darcy pushed the plate into Nat's hands. 

"You were hurt! Here!" Darcy blushed at the uncontrolled blurt of words, and dashed towards the elevator.

Clint peeled back the top layer of foil, "Ooo, Pirozhki!" 

He reached for one, only to have Nat curl a protective arm around them, turning away. "No. Mine." She declared in a tone more suited for telling a dog to get off the couch.

Clint slumped a little, "Aww, pastry no..."

When Natasha got back to her bedroom, there was a fine layer of brown fur on the coverlet of her bed.

🐾 🐾 🐾

By the time the rest of the Avengers were back in the Tower, they seem to have either forgotten about the challenge or given up on Darcy. Darcy had returned to teaching Steve and Bucky about modern culture, lessons that overlapped her teaching Loki and Thor about Earth. Darcy teaching Loki about was or was not an acceptable prank may have led to him magically dyeing henchmen fleeing battles obnoxiously bright skin colors, with contrasting hair. Darcy emphatically denied teaching him about the itching powder he placed in Doom's armor, however.

And when insomnia struck, Psyche kept Nat company; initially sitting on the far side of the couch, but gradually moving closer. Soon Nat was stroking her fingers through the cat's soft fur as they watched old movies or The Great British Bakeoff.

It is late one night after yet another rough mission that Natasha carefully sets out two cups of hot chocolate and a plate of cookies from a little bakery on the coffee table. She pulled The Princess Bride up on the TV and waited on the couch as the cat wandered in and climbed up on the couch, snuggling up against Natasha's leg. Natasha gently petted the cat's head, staring down into those familiar blue eyes, then reached down to the collar, and carefully unsnapped the key shaped charm.

Psyche's form blurred, stretching and growing, until Darcy sat there, looking sheepishly up at her. "You knew." 

Natasha smiled. "For a while now. The color of your eyes doesn't change." She picked up one of the cups of hot chocolate, handing it to Darcy, who accepted it and cuddled up against her. Natasha picked up her own hot chocolate, putting her free arm around Darcy's back. "But there's a restaurant I wanted to take you to, and they don't let cats in."

Darcy smiled up at her. "I would like that. A lot." She stretched up to kiss Natasha, the familiar movie playing on unheeded as the two ended one chapter and started another of their own fairytale.

 

 

 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> There it is, a one shot fic! Thor, Wanda, and Loki knew what Psyche was of course, and have been vastly amused this whole time. I hope you have enjoyed it, and promise to return to The Symbol of Your Soul soon, but the muse just would not let this be.
> 
> Please leave comments below, I don't normally write one shots so I would appreciate knowing what people liked.
> 
> I'm also [JehanneArgentee](https://jehanneargentee.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr, feel free to say hi.


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